It's Time to Talk About Robot Man-hunts

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I've been holding off on this for far too long. It's rare that a game comes along with so clear a social message, I thought it important that I take the time to really understand it before I put fingers to keyboard. After long and careful deliberation, I can confidently say that Sir, You are Being Hunted is the most important game of our generation. Finally, someone has opened the floodgates to the debate on man hunting robots.

For too long, we have kept quiet while innocent men and women have been dropped on robot infested British isles with only their wits and a bit of cheese. They are pursued by gangs of ruthlessly dapper robots eager to add another trophy to their collection. The cries of these victims have fallen on deaf ears. Not one international agency has stepped up to demand a stop to these cruel and horrifying practices. 

Behold the faces of evil.
Sir, You are Being Hunted is the first game bold enough to expose the gritty reality of these metallic barbarians. Players take the role of the victim so that they might experience something approaching the horror of the real experience. They must use the environment to hide from the clockwork criminals, gathering what they can from houses while searching for parts of a mysterious standing stone that can free them from their torment. 

From the scattered witness accounts, the robots distribute goods of varying quality throughout the villages erected throughout the islands. Food and drink are important to any human's survival, so the landscape has been populated with various vittles. Other items are more utilitarian in their uses. Rags for example, are handy for making molotov cocktails but perhaps more useful for treating your inevitable wounds. These are the choices 

In an effort to realistically portray the experience, players are able to attack and deactivate (though with great difficulty) the robots and use their own weapons against them. However cathartic it is to turn the tables on those steel scoundrels, more often than not the game ends in death for the player. I feel that now, after spending countless hours fleeing from (thankfully) imaginary, clanking pursuers, I have some idea of what must go through the minds of those unfortunate souls wandering those isles as we speak. 

Gloomy moors hide a grisly fate. 
How these mechanical maniacs have escaped the public eye for so long is a complete mystery to me. They obviously have vast fortunes available to them, as they've manipulated some islands to simulate environments from English moors to industrial complexes. I must conclude that officials have been bribed into silence. The game's creators have been conspicuously silent on the subject of their own survival at the hands of the molybdenum murderers. They must work very closely with the few known survivors. How else could this team have built so detailed a world?

Sir, You Are Being Hunted is a terrifying, gritty, dashing and courageous exposé on the horrors of hunting the most dangerous game. Call your public officials, your family, friends, teachers, co-workers. Tell them about Sir, You are Being Hunted. We can make a difference.