We Need More Lemon Pledge

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I've played a few games recently that have led me to a conclusion that Monsters in any game dislike the smell of Lemon Pledge.  What began this revelation was the completion of my Silent Hill game collection; I had a good condition copy of Silent Hill, and a mint copy of Silent Hill: Origins.  While I could not finish SH Origins (the game play was just plain discouraging, a waste of money even for a die hard fan), I did make an observation between the two games.  In origins, if you go into the hospital, it is dingy and disgusting, yet abandoned, maybe a critter here or there.  Standard.



 Now, fast forward a decade to the original SH game, go in when it is the fog world hospital, despite the fine particle control demonstrated outside, they decided that the inside should be near pristine!  Also, with this change, no monsters.

I swear during that decade someone sent in a team of cleaners who just came and cleaned like mad until the citrusy smell drove the monsters off.  Which also leads me to believe that the monsters are feline in nature since cats don't tend to be fans of citrus.

Maybe that's what Samanoske was missing in Onimusha? If he'd just had some Lysol, he could have sprayed it in the face of any monster and would've been fine.  OK, granted some were based on insects and he really should use RAID, but that just doesn't work with the time period, by the Third installment they could have sent some back through time.  "What's that?  Your lair is dirty?  Let me help you!" Psshhhhhh! "RAAAARGH!" *poof*  And the monster was just blown to tiny bits...Maybe that's what the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch had in it in Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.  It makes sense...Somehow it just does.

Anywho, back to my point, if you observe cleaner areas next to dirtier ones, which ones tend to be monster infested?  Disco, the dirty places.  Now we just need a game in which the main hero actually uses some cleaning product to demolish the antagonists, at least as a joke tool, it doesn't need to be a primary weapon.

Moral of the story; clean your room, kids!